FEAR AND TEARS 1

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EID SPLASH!!! taqabal Allahu minna waminkum!

Fruits Of The Womb – Episode 1

As-salaamu’alykum As-salaamu’alykum warahmatullah wabarakaatuhu fans!
Here is another piece from Ummu Abdillah which in’sha’Allah will continue after THE SNAIL LOVER or should it be uploaded before snail lover? Read first and decide later! Oh! Then what will happen to MY HOME! MY CAREER!!!? Goodness bi iznillah, courtesy to sister Abdul-azeez Zaynab and others who sent this 👇
Salam alaykum sis…sincerely ur stories have been awesome…av learnt a lot…ur first story how can I cope made me love polygamous home..I say to my friends DT I won’t go against my husband if he’s interested in polygamy…escape from bottomless pit was also another shot from you…as a young muslimah I believe u actually talked abt wat is rampant in d society and I pray dt Allah increase u in knowledge and Iman to carry on with d good works…av been dreaming of being a career woman BT with av read in my home my career…av realized DT as muslimah’s we have a major role to play in d lives of our husband and kids….how well we interact with them goes a long way in keeping us together as families…sincerely I’ll be very glad if u kip uploading so DT we will be able to learn more…Jazakumllahu khayran sis”
I’ve decided to complete the uploading online! Though it will be steadily as it has been these days cos I’ve been advised to reduce my stress and rest a lot. But why am I releasing this now? Cos I want you to know I’ve got a lot for you! ESCAPE FROM THE BOTTOMLESS PIT’s publication too on its way bi iznillah. May Allah accept all our endeavours and make us steadfast upon the rightful manhaj! wabarakaatuhu fans!
Here is another piece from Ummu Abdillah which in’sha’Allah will continue after THE SNAIL LOVER or should it be uploaded before snail lover? Read first and decide later! Oh! Then what will happen to MY HOME! MY CAREER!!!? Goodness bi iznillah, courtesy to sister Abdul-azeez Zaynab and others who sent this 👇
Salam alaykum sis…sincerely ur stories have been awesome…av learnt a lot…ur first story how can I cope made me love polygamous home..I say to my friends DT I won’t go against my husband if he’s interested in polygamy…escape from bottomless pit was also another shot from you…as a young muslimah I believe u actually talked abt wat is rampant in d society and I pray dt Allah increase u in knowledge and Iman to carry on with d good works…av been dreaming of being a career woman BT with av read in my home my career…av realized DT as muslimah’s we have a major role to play in d lives of our husband and kids….how well we interact with them goes a long way in keeping us together as families…sincerely I’ll be very glad if u kip uploading so DT we will be able to learn more…Jazakumllahu khayran sis”
I’ve decided to complete the uploading online! Though it will be steadily as it has been these days cos I’ve been advised to reduce my stress and rest a lot. But why am I releasing this now? Cos I want you to know I’ve got a lot for you! ESCAPE FROM THE BOTTOMLESS PIT’s publication too on its way bi iznillah. May Allah accept all our endeavours and make us steadfast upon the rightful manhaj!
————————————————————-
Behind the silky curtain drawn over the aluminium glass, perceiving the sadness of the dark night as it evades slowly from the pursuance of the dawn. Slow as molasses in January, the twilight emerges majestically, like the king of the jungle, felicitating in a contemptuous gait. Hearing the grass growing, the dawn announces proudly,
“Here I am again as always! To bring to light, your life and live! To make count for your life till death! Illuminating your way, to see, to work, to earn, to play, to pray, to sin, till someday you won’t live to see me ever again. Here I am again as always! Ahahah…ahahah…ahahah…!” With scornful laughter, it has end its words.
In disdain, I close my eyes, searching for a drop of tear but not seen. I make a silent wish, hoping to never to wake up to the dawn some day – enough is just enough!
The intense of light blazes my closed eyes – unknowingly I’ve been driven to the slumberland. Opening my eyes to the rays of light, blinking as the drowse slips away, visible is his squarely bare back as he draws aside the curtains. The deep line cutting through his back, down to the waist wrapped with a white cotton-towel. He just does look virile in everything and everyday as always and ever. Having him alone is the greatest favour from The Almighty, I shouldn’t be more greedy!
“Alhamdulillah!” I release a breath
“Rabbi lihaalamina!” He adds as he walks over to the wardrobe, “sleepy baby, what’s that for?”
Rising from the bed, I reply “Nothing! I’m just thankful”
“Then as-solat! I didn’t interrupt your sound sleep because of the insomnia things but…” He turns to look at me.
The tear I’ve been searching for finally arrives unannounced, it drips uncontrollably and I quickly rub it off, “you know I’m not the type that delay fajr solat, I know and understand the importance of observing it at the right time but I’m now off-solat… I saw it during the night… So I’m off again… I’m off!”
Trying as much as possible to hold back the tears and hide my pain, I’m still caught!
He turns back to the wardrobe and keep going through his clothes for which to wear. “You don’t have to let that hurt your feelings. May Allah answer our prayers”
“Ameen” I reply
My stomach growls and I rub it with my hand.
Dressing up, he says “I have known you would be hungry so I’ve prepared simple breakfast”
My heart beeps! Breakfast? Who sent my husband to cook? – If I could, I would prefer drinking water alone this morning to eating his breakfast but I couldn’t. I won’t want to displease him. My friend Radi’ah has always warned me against that – “men hate it most when you find displeasure in their favour. Even if you aren’t pleased, just fake a smile and say ‘thank you sweetheart’ and ‘well done!'”. My husband Abdulmateen was or let me say is a spoiled brat; he doesn’t even know how to boil water but always try his best. The first time he prepared a meal for me, it was a very bland watery indomie and the last time he cooked for me, it was an uncooked pap. And with smile, I ate and said “jazaakallah Khairan love! For this wonderful meal, you are the best!”. Though he also knew it was a flattery commendation, he smiled ecstatically that I could feel love emojis shooting at me from his eyes.
I just hope it is a simple breakfast as he has said…
“Why that face? Aren’t you hungry? Or do you want me to bring it here for you?” He queries with high concern
“No dear, I will go for it myself! Be quick and join me on the table”
I rise from the bed to leave.
“Won’t you brush before eating?”
“Oyinbo (white men) says we should brush our teeth daily not compulsorily in the morning. After all, I brushed yesterday night.” I jokingly reply as I cross the bedroom threshold.
“You will surely find an excuse. My naughty dirty beautiful wife!” He says on the top of his voice.
I smile at the new innovative qualifier he just used me ‘naughty dirty beautiful wife’. He is always good at sending butterflies flying into my stomach.
“My naughty elegant handsome husband” I chuckle to myself as I walk to the dining.
Anticipating to take a glimpse at the simple breakfast, I slowly open the plate. Alas! Here are three slices of yam mounted on each other in the middle, surrounded by good looking fried egg which has undergone blessed nikkah with scoth bonnets and onions in the presence of other ingredients as witnesses.
“Maa’sha’Allah!” I heave a sigh from astonishment.
“Alhamdulillah!” He enters and sits before me.
He picks up a fork and places it in my hand while he picks a fork for himself too.
“Don’t lie to me AbdulMateen, you went to an eatery to get this!”
He laughs, “eatery? You should know I’m not an eatery fan. I prefer home made foods. I learnt from a video clip I downloaded online so I cooked this by myself though it took me a lot of efforts. I just realized cooking isn’t an easy task, you deserve a golden award for giving me the most perfect meal everyday for…”
Trying not to let him mention the next word, I cut in his sentences, “you just know that?” I force a grin on, “now let’s take a bite so we can know if it gets quality in both container and content”
He drops his fork and watches me anxiously as I cut into a piece yam and pick a piece from the egg, into my mouth it goes. Savouring the tastes on my taste bud, I smile. Though the seasoning is too much, it still tastes good. And the yam is edible enough to be fed to a year old ba…
I stop thinking of the taste and grin at him, nodding my head in congratulated affirmation.
Rayhaanah, you should stop thinking and don’t even try to think of anything today. Okay? I murmur ‘yes!’ to my caution.
He grins back at me as he eats
“Thank for the meal dear! Jazaakallah Khairan” I say to him after taking my last bite.
He picks up his coat, setting to leave while I pack the plates and into the kitchen I go.
Turning back after I’ve placed the plates inside the washing base, I bump my head on his chest.
“Ouch!” I exclaim.
“I’m sorry!” He replies as he bends to my height and hugs me passionately. “Thanks for eating my meal as it is anytime I cooked. It has been great seeing you eating what I’ve made with my hands happily… Please dear, don’t think about anything! Your happiness is my happiness. Remember sorrow fills my heart whenever you are sad and In’shaa’Allah I will be home soon to keep your company, I promise! Even if dad tries to keep me on work, I will come running to you very soon today so prepare yourself for me.”
I’m happy so I smile. Extending my hands to his back, I rub it and pat it. I’m so happy!
“Plus… Dear… Something would infuriate you here in the kitchen. I won’t want you to get so mad at me please. Love you dear”
He releases me from the hug and run outside to his car.
“AndulMateen!” After him, I call out, feeling confused but he doesn’t answer me.
I walk back to the kitchen to check on what he said. I look around but find nothing worth vexing for. About to leave the kitchen then I sight my crate of eggs – the only crate remaining that was filled with eggs now has only two eggs in it. Is this it? Then I find some vegetable oil drops on the floor, most pointing to my waste bin.
“Subhanallah!” I cry out as I open it.
The waste bin is almost filled with fried eggs. Instead of getting angry, I burst into a ‘diaghramic’ laughter. So my husband went through series of trials and failure before finally getting that fried egg done? Maa’sha’Allah! Only Allah knows when he has woken up for this!
I don’t want to think of anything and I won’t think of anything at all today In’shaa’Allah!
After having a cold bath and given my skin his daily nutrition, I surf through my wardrobe for one of the most expensive lastest designer trend in the town.
“Yes! This forever 21 top and Calvin klen jean will do. Let me see the colour of khimar I should use” I stand in front of my khimar-filled part of the wardrobe thinking, “black will do!”
I dressed up in a few minutes, no make up while going out because it is adulterous as the prophet s.a.w has said. I put on my recommended glasses, tuck my jean into my socks, pick up my car key and head out. I have no where to go but I want to be free of thoughts. Exploring the town I’ve been living for almost a month now should do.
The sight of the streets has been so breathtaking for me. It breaths happiness and likewise sorrow which radiates liveliness. Up and down the streets are walking souls, same in structures but different in features – young, mid and old! Poor, average and rich! Joyous, distressed and contented! Yet we all possess the same head hanging on our necks but different destiny entirely. Different destiny, but not entirely I think. Because we all share one same destiny, which is al-maot! Who are we to question Allah for not creating us equally? Dhul jalaali wal’hikraam!
A text message enters my phone from my husband and I read:
I’m home now dear but you are out without informing your husband. Have you forgotten the angels curses a woman who goes out of her house without her husband’s permission? Please return home as soon as possible!

“Subhanallah!” I murmur under my breath.
I’ve forgotten he promised to be home early. I’ve been carried away in the scenario of living lives!
I make a turn and drive back home.
On getting home, I knock and say teslim. Without waiting for his response I open the door so I could quickly apologize. My smile fades away as I see my sister in-law, Aliyah sitting patiently like a lion waiting for its prey on a sofa. My heart heaves and starts to pump harder but enough adrenaline isn’t releasing into my blood stream.
She grins at me but I have known it isn’t sincerely. I remove my glasses and drop it with my bag on the sofa so I manage to say,
“Welcome ma, when did you arrive?”
“To your house? It is just now but from Abuja, I’ve arrived since this week began”
Fear runs down my spine and I almost shiver off my feet so I have my seat and start taking off my jewelries and shoes while I say to her,
“What will you eat?”
“Nothing! Seeing you is enough of food for me!” She smiles.
I become more afraid of her action because this such of her actions always come with the worst drama of my life.
“Wow! Isn’t that your wrist watch a hublot product?” She asks
“No, it isn’t but a Rolex product!”
“I see! You are always good at wearing trendy designers and cooking good foods also. I must admit that even if I don’t want to. Even at eating too, you are good.” She raises her thumb, “you are a good woman indeed! But the only one thing you never know how to do is having babies.”
Tears start streaming down my face, at last she has succeeded in making me let out the cry I have been holding since morning.
I close my eyes and pray silently, “Ya Allah! I’m not the one creating babies, You are! Wipe my tears by giving me one of the best with you very soon.”
My husband enters the sitting room and hands his sister an envelope. She smiles and hugs him, giving me a caution look behind him. I cover my face with both my hands so my husband won’t know what is happening.
“OK sister Rayhaanah, I’m leaving. Like I said, stop using such a mascara again, it is dangerous for the eyes. You can try those la girls products, they are trendy best in town now.” She says and leaves.
“Remove those hands from your face” he commands hoarsely but I stay dumb, “Rayhaanah! Get those fucking hands off your face!” He roars!

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Ummu Abdillah

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18 thoughts on “FEAR AND TEARS 1

  1. We will always continue to pray to ALLAH to strengthen, guide,help and reward you abundantly with multipy of each letters in each story.

    From Al Hijaab Initiative we say Jazakum Allahu Khayran
    We really appreciate your lesson, cos it beyond only a story.

  2. Jazakillahu khayr, pls where one buy the hard copy of your books, these stories are to be read over and over, they r very interesting. May Allah increase u in ni'ima and hikmah, thank you.

  3. Jazakillahu khayr. your story really pass a lot of lesson to us,my Allah strengthen and reward abundantly,
    each of ur story av impact in our life.
    keep it up ma

  4. Jazakhillah khairan for ur write up ma, it really helping d Muslim marriage a lot n those who are yet to get married. May Allah continue to gv u strength to continue d good work, increase ur knowledge n accept all ur write up as an act ibadah. Amin thumma Amin
    Ma, we expecting d complete episode of bottomless pit.

  5. Just reading this
    I pray Allah put barakah in all that has to do with you
    You are such an amazing person and bright brain
    Barakallahu fihi sister
    I love you for his sake

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